Letters to Solace: 2 months

My dear Solace,

You’re two months old! You currently weigh 11 lbs and measure 23” long. You started wearing size 1 diapers at 5 weeks and now wear 0-3 month clothing. What a haze this past month has been, marked by tons of cluster feeding particularly in the evening, which contributed to your rapid growth this month. During the day, you nurse every 2-3 hours. We spend a lot of time in the green armchair nursing while your older siblings homeschool. We are in awe of and adore your squishiness combined with your puffy hair, which makes for the sweetest snuggles. Your siblings clamor for their turn to hold you every day. They’ve dedicated the lullaby “Solla Sollew” to you, tenderly crooning the song when you cry. You practice tummy time on Serene, love being held dolly way by Reverie so you can stare outward, and gaze up at Valor, Verity, and Candor when they hold you. 

In fact, you are most content when worn in the wrap, and prefer to spend your days in it when you’re not nursing. You stare up at me with wide eyes before drifting off into deep slumber within the wrap’s womblike warmth. Your longest stretch of sleep at night has been three hours, which we wish were more frequent and longer. It has been more common to have one and half to two hour stretches at night. The sleepless nights are spent snoozing only in your daddy’s or my arms, burrowing your face into our sides for closeness and comfort. In our arms or the wrap are what you prefer as you cry within a few minutes of being put in the bouncer or lounger.

I don't mind the cuddles one bit. You have the silkiest, fair skin. We love how your feet flex and your hands curl into fists. You give impressive burps after feeding. You’ve taken the bottle twice, and refuse the pacifier. You attended your first Sunday service at 4 weeks. You went on your first getaway to San Diego for an elopement at 6 weeks. You started gifting us little smiles around 7 weeks, along with coos. Those, along with the newborn stretches and endearing newborn scrunches, are the best. We are loving watching you grow, my littlest love. We cherish your littleness and know this time with you is a sweet gift from our gracious God. What a memorable milestone that you turned two months on your daddy's and my 13th anniversary! God is so kind!

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Solace at 0, 1 month, and his birth story.

Letters to Solace: 1 month

My dear Solace,

It has been the sweetest first month with you. You arrived in the same week as your Yeh Yeh's passing and other difficult circumstances, a testament to God's kindness in bringing healing balm and comfort in the midst of trials. We can't believe we've been gifted the opportunity to enjoy new life and joy in you, my littlest baby. We have all been anxiously waiting to meet you. Your daddy and I often said "In January" to anticipate your arrival, especially with your older siblings who had all been waiting with great excitement to meet you. They had been praying for a new sibling for about two years, and you are an answer to their prayers. Praise God! 

We love everything about you. We love your littleness, your newborn rolls, your delicate lips, your long feet and fingers, your silky soft skin, your froggy legs, and most noticeable and surprising of all, your puffy head of hair (which hopefully will not shed as the months go by). You have a fan club of five older siblings who vie for your attention, crowding around you constantly. They eagerly take turns holding you everyday, exclaiming over how little and precious you are. Reverie kisses your head often and exclaims that you are so little she can't believe you're even a human. Valor coos over his littlest baby brother. Verity proclaims that you are her very own baby Solly. Candor loves to nuzzle you affectionately with his head. Serene murmurs "aww" whenever she gazes at you lovingly. We adore you to the utmost!

Your first month of life has been full of cuddles. I cherish our bond, nurtured by nursing, contact napping, skin-to-skin snuggles, and babywearing. My heart swells when holding you close and showering feathery kisses on your cheeks and forehead. After you turned two weeks, you preferred to sleep only in our arms or in my wrap, reminiscent of being in the womb. You tolerate the lounger and bouncer for just a few minutes before realizing they're not the warmth of our arms or the wrap. We are enjoying holding you closely, knowing fully how time goes by too quickly.

You had no jaundice at birth, but proceeded to visit the doctor four times in one week for raised bilirubin levels. Thankfully, it peaked at day 6 of life and lowered by day 7 of life to breastmilk jaundice, which is thankfully decreasing over time. You feed and pee/poop well. I love rubbing your back as you nurse, to which you respond with the cutest high-pitched grunts. You've been more alert since 3 weeks, beholding your surroundings for a few minutes at a time. You try holding your wobbly head up when held against my chest. You weren't sure about your first sponge bath at 4 days once your umbilical cord stump fell off, but now calmly enjoy the warm sink baths your daddy gives you, the first of which occurred around 1 week. You began taking the pacifier right before 3 weeks of age. You hiccup about once a day as well, which reminds me of that daily rhythm of yours in utero. Your first outing outside of the doctor's office was your Yeh Yeh's funeral at 4 weeks, followed by Sunday service with our church family two days later.

You've probably gained a pound since birth and are about 8 pounds now. You wear newborn diapers and newborn clothing. Though I cherish your littleness, I also know it is a gift to watch you grow, my sweet Solly baby.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Solace at 0 months and his birth story.

Solace's birth

On Thursday, January 9, 2025 at 37 weeks and 6 days, I noticed contractions that were consistently five minutes apart before going to bed at around midnight. When I told Alex, he immediately suggested going to the hospital given my history of fast births. I wasn’t sure the contractions were strong enough to go in, but I hoped to get there with plenty of time to receive an epidural. I always wanted one, but didn't have enough time for it during three of the kids' births. 

We called Aarika who graciously came over while Alex threw toiletries in a bag. After a short 12 minute drive, we checked into Labor & Delivery at around 1:00am. When the nurse checked my cervix at 1:15am, I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. She observed that my contractions were pretty strong, but they felt mild to me. She instructed us to walk around for two hours to help labor progress. “What?” I gaped at her. I laughed, for I had never been told to do so before. “Excuse me, ma’am,” Alex said. “Did you say walk for two hours? At 1:30 in the morning?”

We followed orders and walked circles around the L & D wing. The contractions became stronger at 3 minutes apart. At 3:00am, the nurse checked my cervix again and shared that I had not progressed. She told us to go home and predicted we’d be back within 24 hours. “Come back when the contractions hurt,” she said. I was disappointed and embarrassed to be sent home, but Alex took it as an opportunity to schedule a lunch date that afternoon - haha.

We went home to sleep for a few hours before going back to the hospital for a scheduled ob-gyn appointment while my mother-in-law and brother-in-law watched the kids. I wasn’t sure if my dilation and effacement had progressed in the four hours since going home. Contractions had gone back to being 5-6 minutes apart, but I wanted to consult my doctor regardless. When she checked me at 9:00am, I was 3.5 cm dilated and 70% effaced. “You’re progressing,” she said reassuringly. “Come back when you’re in active labor. You’ll probably go pretty fast.”

That afternoon, Alex took me on a sushi date for quality time before the baby arrives. It was so sweet to spend time together as it had been a hard week filled with sorrows and grief with hope. I spent the rest of the day bouncing on a yoga ball, taking a hot shower, and keeping a record of my contractions.

That night, on Friday, January 10, 2025, I felt the contractions deepen at around 3:00am. I timed them for an hour and then went to pee. I discovered a substantial amount of bleeding. “I think it’s time to go,” I told Alex. He called his mom to come over and we left right away. We checked into Labor & Delivery at 4:26am. The same nurse from the previous day checked my cervix. “You’re 5-6 cm,” she announced. “You’re definitely staying this time.”

I smiled in relief then winced as the contractions intensified. “The priority is for her to get an epidural,” Alex told her. The nurse prepped my IV and told me it needs to drain before they can administer the epidural. I nodded with a feeling it may not happen.

I walked over to a labor & delivery room, where I breathed deeply through the contractions now. By the time the anesthesiologist arrived at 5:45am, the contractions hurt so that I could barely sit still enough for him to poke the needle in my back. He poked several times to find the right spot, and it hurt! It was 6:00am and we were hoping the medicine would kick in in time. I was breathing too fast, so they strapped an oxygen mask on me. Labor became a blur. The contractions were fast and furious. The epidural never worked. I started moaning through the contractions. In the midst of the pain, I vaguely felt the nurses readjusting the fetal heart monitor several times. We couldn’t hear a heartbeat. "Take deep breaths, Helen," the nurses urged. "You need to breathe for the baby." The nurses checked my cervix and declared I was complete. They called the midwife in as the familiar, fiery sensation came to push. I yelled as I pushed. “Push!” the medical team commanded. My water broke. I pushed a few more times with the energy I had left. Alex told me later that while I was pushing, the NICU team rushed into the room in case they needed to resuscitate the baby. At 6:33am on Friday, January 10, 2025, Solace Just Hong came into the world at 38 weeks, weighing 7 lbs 1 oz and measuring 20 inches long. He had the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around his neck several times. The midwife deftly cut it off and praise God, he cried. They placed him on me as a wave of fatigue washed over me. Alex cut off the umbilical cord near Solace’s belly button. He was finally here, and he was okay.

We praise God for His great grace in blessing us with our littlest baby boy. We can't believe we get to do this again. My first hours with him in the hospital were so precious, with lots of skin-to-skin bonding, nursing, and napping together. Alex was such a sweet support while he was there, but he was the real MVP for going home several times in order to take care of the five big kids. So thankful for family who cared for the big kids while we were at the hospital. When we brought Solace home on his second day of life, the kids were beyond excited to finally meet him, the baby sibling for whom they had been praying for two years. They squealed in delight as they each took turns holding baby Solly. We are all in love with him and can't believe that we are now a family of eight. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

P.S. Serene's, Valor's, Reverie's, Verity's, and Candor's birth stories.