Weaning woes

I've been toying with the idea of slowly weaning Serene, and started consistently going through with it last week. I cut out the two naptime feedings (still nursing first thing in the morning when she wakes up and last thing in the evening before bed), replacing the nursing sessions with soy milk, but Serene has declared war. War on the soy milk, which means negligible sips here and there before the cup gets flung across the room (on the bright side, at least she takes little sips of the soy milk, for she wouldn't take sips of cow's milk at all). War on me, which means a fussier, more whiny, and more clingy babe throughout the day. War on naptime, which means screaming for an hour and a half before she falls asleep, if she naps at all. And if she naps at all, it is for 30-40 minutes throughout the entire day, rather than the usual 2-3 hours throughout the day. In short, weaning is a culprit for our sadness and weariness of late. I was at my wit's end last week. By Friday, the week's fatigue had caught up to me. I was second guessing all the motherhood decisions I've ever made. So I hauled Serene's nap-refusing tush to Target in my pajamas, unbrushed hair, and unmade up face. We ambled aimlessly for an hour so I could distract her from the monotony of home, the blasted soy milk, and her crib prison.

Now that I look back on it, I can't help but laugh. Last week was pretty grim, but praise God every day is a new day with mercies anew. We're all adjusting and learning, and I'm foreseeing weeks, maybe even months, of weaning in our future. Please feel free to share advice and recommendations! I continue to learn that mamahood has its rosy moments, but there are so many not-so-rosy moments as well. Right now, those include weaning woes, but they will only be something else later on. Regardless, all moments are glimpses of the great calling I have to teach and disciple my little love to fear God over all else (in this case, breastmilk). But who am I kidding? I feel so small, so inept, so unworthy of this daunting task before me, particularly as she gets older (and more sinful). I need so much grace and strength to be the example Serene needs. How can I teach her to fear God when I so often fail to be in awe of Him myself? Who am I to tell her to stop whining when I keep complaining about her whining? Such a timely reminder of how God perfects His power in weakness because boy, do I feel weak! Thankful the Lord paid for my sins on the cross so that I can come to the throne of grace. Praying I would emanate grace to Serene as we learn to teach and discipline her for her good and God's glory - that she would see that she, her daddy, and I are all in dire need of God's kindness and mercy on the cross!