Letters to Valor: 1 month

My dear Valor Zeal,

We blinked and you're a month old! This past month has been a hazy dream. We can't believe you're actually here. At the same time, we can't imagine how we lived without you. The day we brought you home from the hospital, you were so teeny that the top of your head hardly touched the newborn insert in your car seat. Fast forward a month, and you've grown so quickly already. At one month, you're almost 9 and a half lbs and 21 inches long. You wear size newborn diapers and size newborn clothes though we foresee you growing out of those soon. You're a voracious eater, and had no problem gaining back your birth weight and then some. Though you had slight jaundice during the first week of your life and had to be fed on schedule, you gained weight nicely and have been feeding on demand since your second week of life. I feel more confident about breastfeeding this time around, and I'm so thankful we established a good nursing rhythm. You are wildly content while feeding, with your lips curled into a smile and your little legs stretched and flexed straight out. So exceedingly endearing.

You are a sleepy babe during the day; you even slept through your one month photos. I love marveling at your delicate features while you snooze: your velvety soft skin, your itty bitty toes - you are so sweet and little I feel my heart could burst from disbelief that God has given you to us for the time being. That's when I kiss your head, your chubby cheeks, and your little lips. You love laying against us froggy style to rest or sleep in our arms. You're not a big fan of your bassinet at night, but will tolerate it for a couple of naps during the day. You sleep better when you're swaddled and with white noise in the background, but sleep best when you're snuggled up against my side. Even when I move away from you, you find a way to inch towards me again. No matter where you sleep, your hands are always by your face or above your head. Though you nap pretty well during the day, you're not fond of sleeping at night. You let us know by crying softly but persistently, whereas during the day you squeak like a mouse or grunt like a baby dinosaur more often to communicate. You've been cluster feeding from about 10pm-4am nightly since your third week of life, and sleep is fitful for us all if it occurs. There've been tears on both ends and although my eyes sting with exhaustion, I'm learning to cherish these late nights spent with you, nursing, cuddling, and soothing. It is a mama's privilege to experience this depth of bonding with her sweet babe. Because you're happiest when you're closest to me, you love being worn. I usually wear you in a wrap or sling when we're out and about or when I'm consoling you to sleep in the wee morning hours. Otherwise, you also take the pacifier well for comfort.

In terms of pooping (because the newborn days seem to consist of feeding, sleeping, and pooping), you're not crazy about having your diaper changed. Your daddy and I have had many an excretory surprise when we take off your diaper and you pee straight onto your own face, on us, or across the room. Lesson learned: changing a boy's diaper is much different from changing a girl's diaper.

We can't believe we get to have a little boy. Your daddy, big sister, and I are crazy about you. We love to hug your squishy littleness, and although your older sister does not yet realize her own strength, just know that she embraces you out of purely good intentions. I can't wait to see how your sibling relationship plays out; she loves you so much already. Right when you were born, your daddy and I were convinced you looked just like Serene, but a tad more masculine. As this month has gone by, your features have changed slightly. I wonder how they'll continue to change and how your personality will develop as you get older. So excited to see you grow, my sweet baby boy. You make our lives more full, more rich. You are a precious gift from the Lord and the sweetest addition to our little family. We love you so but pray that you would understand early on how even more deeply loved you are by our gracious God in Christ Jesus!

Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Valor Zeal at 0 months and his birth story.