Verity Heart's birth

On Sunday, December 9th, 2018, I woke up at 8:00am to get ready for Sunday service. When I went to pee, I noticed fresh light bleeding after I wiped. That's strange, I thought. Perhaps it's normal at 34 weeks pregnant, though I had never experienced this with the other kids. I looked up '34 weeks pregnant light bleeding', and saw I should call my ob-gyn just in case. I called Alex, who was finishing up his early morning meeting with his fellow elder when I informed him I was bleeding. "Oh no," he said. "What does that mean? Are you okay?" "I'm going to call Kaiser to check," I replied. "I'll let you know." I called the nurse line, who transferred me to Labor & Delivery. When I told the nurse about my bleeding at 34 weeks 1 day pregnant, she asked, "Have you been having contractions?" "I've been having pretty consistent Braxton Hicks contractions all day and night for the past three days now," I contemplated. She asked me how consistent and long they were, but I couldn't answer as I hadn't been timing them. As I evaluated further, I had been feeling quite sick since Thursday when I thought I had food poisoning, and so incredibly tired and unwell the night before (Saturday) that I knocked out at 9pm. She told me to come in to get checked just in case, especially since this was my fourth baby. "Could I come in later in the day?" I asked, intending to go to Sunday service first. "No, no," she chuckled. "You should get yourself ready and come in right now." I called Alex, who was already on his way home with two church members in tow to help get the kids ready for church while he took me to the hospital. I dressed in Sunday's best and packed nothing because I assumed I'd make it to church afterward.

During our drive to hospital, I told Alex I would probably just get checked, all would be fine, and that we'd make it to service soon after. I had been timing my contractions, which I thought were still Braxton Hicks practice contractions, since I got off the phone with the nurse. They were occurring every 4-6 minutes. We arrived at the hospital at 9am, where I got checked into triage so they could monitor my contractions. The doctor explained that he hopes I don't give birth, but if I'm really in labor, they wouldn't stop it. A sweet friend arrived to keep me company when Alex left at 10am to preach. The doctor checked my cervix, announcing that it was open and 3cm dilated. My jaw dropped in shock. Meanwhile, my contractions got a little stronger and more noticeable. The nurse gave me a painful steroids shot to help the baby's lungs develop in case I deliver soon. I still did not believe I could actually be in labor. Alex returned at noon after finishing Sunday's sermon, all ajitter because Aarika had told her dad, who told Alex my contractions had been getting stronger.

At around 12:30pm, they admitted me into Labor & Delivery after putting me on an IV. I used the restroom before settling in. I was breathing through my contractions now. Alex made himself comfortable and ate lunch. At around 1:15pm, the doctor performed an ultrasound to estimate the baby's size - a little under 5 lbs. The nurse asked if I wanted something for the pain. "Am I actually in labor?" I asked with surprise. The whole time, I believed they were simply tracking my contractions to see if they'd stop. The doctor paused. "Yes, I'm sorry we didn't make it clear to you. Those are labor contractions you're having." The contractions distracted me from panicking that it was too early to have the baby. They checked my cervix again and it was still at 3cm. It was around 1:45pm. "I think I'd like an epidural soon, after I use the bathroom," I responded weakly. I had to empty my bladder and bowels again. But this time, the contractions intensified as I used the restroom. "Tell them I need an epidural," I told Alex through gritted teeth.

I laid back down on the bed, and all of the sudden my contractions increased exponentially in pain. The nurse said the anesthesiologist was with another patient and that he would get to me soon. The contractions were less than 3 minutes apart, and I was yelling through them now. I writhed in bed, gripping Alex's hand, pleading for an epidural. I went from 3cm to 10cm in 20 minutes. There was no time for an epidural. The nurse urged me to calm down as a midwife and her team entered the room. The midwife was in the middle of introducing herself to me when suddenly I felt the urge to poop and push at the same time. "Oh no," I shouted. I felt a forceful gush of warm water as my water broke. I yelled as my body involuntarily pushed, and out popped the baby, crying, at 2:21pm. The doctor caught the baby just in time, deftly wrapped her in a blanket, and placed her in my arms. I was in a dazed shock. Did I actually just give birth? Is the baby really here? Before I could even glance down at our newest little love, they whisked her away to measure her and take her to the NICU.

My body resonated in relief. The labor pains were over. I didn't tear, and I felt much lighter once the placenta exited my body. I had been feeling so heavy and swollen, with intense carpal tunnel, ligament pain, and lower back aches since I was 6 months pregnant, which was exacerbated by daily life caring for our three kiddos. "It's over," Alex reassured me, squeezing my hand. "The baby's here."

In the hours following birth, Alex and I decided on our littlest love's name: Verity Heart. We were in disbelief that she was here, for we did not anticipate her arrival until January. I envisioned enjoying holiday festivities before giving birth sometime after the new year. But God had good, different plans. Our littlest baby arrived in time for Christmas, the sweetest gift from our gracious God.

She spent the next 11 days in the NICU, needing help breathing via oxygen, a feeding tube to eat, and phototherapy for jaundice. Praise God she progressed daily. She breastfed and bottle fed by day 3 of life on Wednesday, December 13th, no longer needing the feeding tube. She was breathing on her own by day 5 of life on Friday, December 14th. Her jaundice seemed to be gone by day 6 of life on Saturday, December 15th, but her bilirubin levels rebounded the next day and progress to rid the jaundice was slow. I pumped every 2-3 hours since Verity's birth and brought milk every day to the hospital. However, the nurses observed that she fed best when I was there to nurse her. She was 4 lbs 12 oz by Saturday, December 15th. Because she wasn't eating as much as they wanted, and because she had rebounding jaundice, she had to stay in the NICU longer than expected. I visited her once or twice a day every day she was in the hospital to nurse and bond with her. It felt so strange and sad to deliver Verity and not be able to take her home right away. We were so thankful for the amazing NICU nurses who cared for her so well though, and that we were able to bring her home 11 days later on Thursday, December 20th, when she weighed 5 lbs 1 oz and measured almost 18 inches long.

When the kids first met her, Serene and Valor were enraptured, crowding around her, oohing and aahing over how little she is. Valor kept telling us he loves her. Serene kept exclaiming how cute she is. When we told Reverie Verity is her new baby sister, Reverie burst into tears. We enveloped her with a reassuring hug, which helped her warm up to the baby. She kept pointing at Verity and repeating "baby." She patted her gently, smiling, and then cried because she wanted to hold her but couldn't. Reverie may love that there's a new little baby around and realize she's no longer the baby in the time to come. She told us she didn't want to be a jie jie ("big sister" in Chinese). She prefers being the big mei mei (big "little sister") while Verity is the little mei mei (little "little sister"). We are all in love with our littlest babe. My heart swells when I ponder upon how I love her fiercely and what a gift she is to us.

We weren't able to take photos at the hospital right after Verity was born like we did with Serene's, Valor's, and Reverie's births because she had to be in the NICU, but we took photos of the kids with Verity on her first day home, and our first pictures as a family of 6 the following day. Grateful for these captured memories.