Letters to Candor: 1 month

My dear Candor Sage,

You're one month old today on the first day of May! What a sweet, life-changing blur this month has been, all because you're here. I am so thankful for your life, my baby boy. You are a most precious gift, and I cannot believe the Lord has been so kind to entrust us with you for the time being. You've brought immeasurable joy to our family the moment we all met you. Your daddy, siblings, and I love everything about you. We adore your littleness, your froggy legs that stretch out stiffly often, your full lips, your chubby cheeks, your wide eyes, your narrow feet, your long fingers and toes, your irresistibly soft skin, and your wispy newborn hair. Your siblings gravitate towards you all the time. They can't help but crowd around to exclaim how cute and little you are, to pat you on the head or back, to kiss your head, and to impatiently take turns holding you. Serene plays the can-can song for you whenever you're sitting in your bouncer in the living room. Valor washes his hands meticulously before giving you gentle hugs. Reverie jumps up and down and squeals over how adorable you are. Verity climbs into my lap to "sit (with) baby," pat your head, and hug you with her head every opportunity she gets. We love you so much!

You and I have been inseparable since you've been born. I treasure the moments I get to bond with you, nursing, snuggling you close afterward against my chest, listening to your content breathing, and kissing your cheeks or head. During your first day and a half of life at the hospital, you preferred sleeping only in my arms. The nurses remarked that you don't like to be bothered, letting us know with your lungs through loud, fierce cries if getting changed, getting a sponge bath, or getting poked and prodded was disagreeable to you. However, you've slept almost exclusively in your lounger since you've gotten home. You also enjoy being worn in my wrap. You're most content when swaddled and cuddled closely in my arms. You involuntarily smiled for the first time at 5 days after nursing, but grinned for the first time at eight days when I talked to you. Your moon eyes and curled lips melt my heart.

You had no jaundice at birth, but by day 6, you were noticeably yellow. You began phototherapy at home, and for its convenience we are grateful. However, after the first bout of jaundice cleared, your bilirubin levels rose again. You currently shave some breastmilk jaundice which we pray will resolve itself soon now that you're a month old. You're feeding and pooping well, which are major accomplishments for your age. I love to stroke your back as you nurse, to which you respond by grunting "mmmmmmhh!" contentedly. Your daddy gave you your first bath at nine days since your umbilical cord fell off at five days and you peed all over him as he was changing you. You've peed all over us quite a bit this month, and we're remembering again how hilarious it is to have a baby boy.

It's bittersweet that you're already bigger than you were at birth. You wore size 0 diapers most of this past month, transitioning to size 1 diapers at 3 weeks when we ran out of newborn diapers. You wear newborn clothing, though they are now filled in more fully than they were when you were born. You've been much more alert since 3 weeks, staring wide-eyed at your surroundings in between feedings during the day. Thankfully, you sleep in 2-3 hour stretches at might, waking only to eat. You take the bottle well, and I'm hoping you continue to do so if we can be consistent about offering you a bottle once or every other day. 

I keep telling your daddy how I love little babies. I love you so, my littlest baby. This season with you is so sweet, and I'm eagerly anticipating the days and seasons to come, Lord willing. Praying He'd continue to grow you, and eventually into a man of God who knows, fears, and loves Him.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0 months and his birth story.