Letters to Candor: 12 months

My dear Candor Sage,

I can't believe we are already here - you are one, my littlest baby. This has been the swiftest, sweetest year. You light up our lives. You have been such a sweet balm to the tumult of the world these past couple of years. God knew we needed you. I am so thankful He's allowed us to steward your life. May you grow to know Him and His kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and steadfast love to us through the glorious gospel. May we be faithful in teaching you to walk in His ways as we learn and know you.

Your favorites are your mama ("mama" is your only word so far), milky, Os oat cereal, bananas, strawberries, avocado toast, blueberries, broccoli, turkey meatball, spinach and egg omelette, brown rice cakes, being in your family's presence, your stuffie Marius, exploring/ripping books, playing with Lego Duplos and pretend kitchen toys, having a clean diaper, chewing on water bottles, and taking baths.

You are a happy, relaxed, attached baby, and are most giggly after a meal. You kick happily, scoot on your tummy as your primary mode of transportation, and enjoy transitioning from tummy to sitting. You side sit, which I think is adorable. You're the only one of our kids who naturally prefers to sit this way. You wear 6-9 month clothing, size 3 diapers, and size 1 shoes. You weigh 15 lbs and measure 26.75 inches long. You are the second smallest of our kids at this age, right after Verity.

We all tell you all the time not to grow up because we enjoy your littleness so. We love how you rub your face into your stuffie Marius, wrap your legs around him, and roll over to the side before napping or sleeping. You use a pacifier only before a nap/sleep. We love how you still take baths in the newborn Puj tub. You dole out wide grins often, and we see two bottom teeth sprouting, as well as your two upper teeth coming through your gums. We smile at you, and your whole face lights up in the sweetest, biggest grin accompanied with "Eh!" You're happiest in your mama's arms or sling, clinging tightly to my arm and waist with deep seated legs. We love your skinny legs, round head, and wispy hair. We love how you scoot on your tummy, using primarily your right leg to propel yourself forward. You enjoy rides in a laundry basket with your siblings. You don't nap when we're out and about, preferring to observe the world with wide eyes. When we are home, you take 3 naps a day. You whine "uhhhh" with a fake cry when you want to be held. You push people/objects away with waving hands. Your nicknames include: CanCan, Sagey, Boy-Boy, CanCan Sagey, and Can-duh.

We love you so much! We pray for many years of loving you well so that you would come to know the Lord who loves you beyond measure. It is a gift to be your mama.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 , 10, 11 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 11 months

My dear Candor Sage,

You're sprouting your first tooth! You're scooting around on your tummy like a little worm. You're growing wispy hair that makes your round head that much more adorable. You're an eager eater, downing bananas, blueberries, turkey meatballs, tofu, eggs with spinach, Os oat cereal, and the like with fervor, but only after nursing first. You don't prefer to be with anyone else if your mama is around, but if I'm not, you're a content babe. I can't believe you're already 11 months, just 1 month away from turning one. You wear 6-9 month clothing and size 3 diapers. We enjoy you so much. You light up the room and we adore you. We thank the Lord for growing you, but I selfishly pray you take your time. You don't seem close to crawling, standing, or cruising, and we don't mind one bit if that means you'll be a baby longer. 

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 , 10 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 10 months

My dear Candor Sage,

You spent much of this past month calling "mama" whenever your mama is out of your sight. You are the sweetest littlest babe who enjoys eating on his own at the table with everyone else. Some of your favorites include Os oat cereal, banana, zucchini, sweet potato, carrots, spinach, eggs, tofu, turkey meatball, corn on the cob, wheat toast with avocado, blueberries, and strawberries. You're pushing up into crawling position to test new boundaries, but are wholly content sitting up and scooting about on your tummy. You don't nap when we're out and about, observing everything bleary eyes. Thankfully, you sleep well through the night and normally take 3 naps per day. You're wearing size 6-9 month clothing and size 3 diapers. Your family are your comfort zone; you're not interested in moving beyond your comfort zone. You suck on your thumb briefly at times, likely because you're teething. You like having your stuffie Marius stuffed into your face before knocking out for naps and bedtime. Your siblings await your waking up every day and clamor over who gets to hold you or play with you in their room. You are the delight of our eyes and our conversation. 

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 9 months

My dear Candor Sage,

You heralded in the new year as a 9-month-old! What joy to have celebrated your first Christmas this past month. It's been a rough year as we are still in the midst of a pandemic, but God has displayed His steadfast love toward us again and again. He has kept us and continues to hold us fast. We are so thankful you're well, your siblings are well, and that God's mercy has ushered us into this new year. Your smile and sweet presence brighten us all up. You're sitting sturdily, grasping soft finger foods with your thumb and forefinger, and sleeping well at night. You're happiest in my arms/sling, and in the company of your siblings. You're eating 2-3 meals a day, wearing size 3 diapers, 3-6 month and 6-9 month clothing, and size 0 shoes. Nursing is still going strong, averaging 5 times a day. You now tend to nurse on your tummy, which is such a funny quirk. We get in all the CanCan cuddles we can with you and keep imploring for you not to grow up. We enjoy you so as a little babe, but as your sister Serene says, "You get cuter as you grow up." This is true and we are thankful to be here for it all.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 8 months

My dear Candor Sage,

You're growing up! You're sitting up albeit a bit wobbly, and finally sleeping consistently through the night since the end of this month. Praise God. You've developed separation anxiety, but I don't mind. Cuddles with you are the best. You're pretty consistently eating zucchini, butternut squash, and sweet potato. Towards the end of this month, you began munching on Os oat cereal and gnawing on teething crackers. You melt our hearts with your happy, kicking legs and gummy grins. You're still wearing 3-6 month clothing and size 3 diapers. Thankful we got to celebrate your first Thanksgiving recently and so excited for your first Christmastide.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 7 months

My dear Candor Sage,

You are sweeter by the month. You are such a calm, easygoing, smiley baby. You began rolling mid month; you're not at the point where you're everywhere and stuck under furniture. You're nearly sitting up on your own. You're still kicking happily in the bouncer. You started solids on October 14 with zucchini, then butternut squash, then sweet potato. Your siblings each eagerly fed you. You had a blast and smiled through it. You're now at 2 meals per day. You grasp with your hands and feet and taste everything within reach. You are happiest in the company of others, so much so that you hardly nap when out and about. You're a petite little babe, just hitting 14 lbs this month and measuring 26.5" long. You're wearing 3-6 month clothing and just transitioned to size 3 diapers. It's bittersweet to watch you grow, but I am so thankful I get to do so.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 6 months

My dear Candor Sage,

You're half a year and I'm not ready for you to keep growing. You're wearing 0-3 and 3-6 month clothing and size 2 diapers. As we all say all the time, "Don't grow up, CanCan!" You are such a happy, easygoing baby as long as you're surrounded by your favorite people, your family. You grin and kick happily in the bouncer. You nurse with wide, adoring eyes. You grab at anything within reach. You explore the world by tasting all things. You giggle when kissed on the neck. You are the sweetest!

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 5 months

My dear Candor Sage,

Your siblings reminded me that you're 5 months! You are 12 lbs and 25" long, wearing size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothing and size 0 moccs. You growl and coo like a baby bear. You roll to the side right away in surprise when put down for tummy time. You are happiest to see your mama, exhibiting the widest gummy grins and happiest kicking little feet. You erupt into big, squeaky laughs when I snuggle your neck. When I leave the room, you cry. You began sucking on your right thumb in the middle of August and grabbing your feet a little after that. You're basically the sweetest baby, smiling at all who pay attention to you. You love hanging out in your bouncer in the company of your siblings and staring at others from the comfort of the sling. You went through the 4 month sleep regression, which was a blur. Time with you is a ephemeral gift. Life has been a whirlwind, especially with wedding season. I hope as I look back, I can say with joy that I've been present in all the moments with you, my littlest babe.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3, 4 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 4 months

My dear Candor Sage,

If only I could memorize your sweet, little frame. How you laughed breathily for the first time on July 7, 2021. The way your whole face lights up and your eyes crinkle happily when you brandish huge, gummy grins. How you wiggle from side to side in happiness. How you kick with your little legs and bounce cheerily in your chair, especially in the presence of your siblings. How your fingers clutch onto my shirt and arms while nursing. How your velvety little body curves around me in contentment when I hold you. How you're happiest when I'm in your sight. How you coo and gurgle happily while sucking your fingers. Your wide-eyed curiosity in unfamiliar surroundings. How you nurse exclusively so when I'm away working weddings, you refuse to eat until I get home. How you transitioned to size 2 diapers at 3.5 months and how you wear 0-3 month and are starting to wear 3-6 month clothing. How you've been blessing us with a 7-8 hour stretch per night. How you're the best littlest gift of a son. I adore you deeply, wholeheartedly, my littlest baby.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2, 3 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 3 months

My dear Candor Sage,

My most favorite things about you this month are your little coos, your little fists, and your wide smiles that you reserve mostly for your mama. They make my heart melt and makes me want to squeeze you forever. I just hold you and can't believe God has blessed us with you. Time with you is the sweetest! 

You're 10 lbs, wear size 1 diapers, and 0-3 month clothing. You kick your feet cheerily in the bouncer. You're doing well at tummy time but only last a couple of minutes. You rolled over for the first time on your right on June 22, 2021, probably accidentally. You burp loudly and have explosive poops once a day. You're sleeping on average 7 hours for the longest stretch at night, preferring to sleep on the left side of your head, just like your sister Verity. However, you look most like your sister Reverie at this age. You went to Palm Springs for your daddy's birthday and to San Clemente this month with friends. You're the best sport and are always surrounded by adoring siblings and parents. Time with you gets better and better. 

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1, 2 months and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 2 months

My dear Candor Sage,

I relished in your sweet newborn phase this past month. The way you sleep with your moth open and hands up by your head. How you stare wide-eyed at your surroundings. The precious way you simultaneously sleep and smile as you're held. How you bask in the warm familiarity of the womb while being worn in the wrap. How you scream until your face is like a "red tomato," according to your oldest sister because you're not being snuggled and cuddled. How you're not much of a fan of the bottle since you turned five weeks, because you've decided you prefer to nurse. The way you arch your body when you're gassy, and how you visibly relax after a huge burp. How you calm down when your daddy plays "Jesus Loves Me" to you on the piano, or when your siblings sing it to you. How you constantly lavish little baby smiles on us since you turned seven weeks when we talk to and smile at you. The sweet way you stare at me while nursing. The adorable little coos "ah" and "mm" you grant me as I cuddle you close. If only I could snuggle with your littleness forever!

You've definitely grown this past month. You still fit some newborn clothes, but also started wearing some 0-3 month clothing at six weeks. You wear size 1 diapers. You tolerate a few minutes in the bouncer, but desire to be held most of the evening. Thankfully, you end up sleeping longer stretches at night, averaging five hours at the longest stretch. You've also slept six hours a couple of times and almost nine hours once this past month. You're more alert and are practicing head control whenever you're held upright, and when we put you down for tummy time. Your siblings love cheering you on when you do. You went on your first vacation to Palm Springs at five weeks for your big brother's sixth birthday. You attended your first Sunday service at six weeks. Thankful that as the world slowly opens back up post-pandemic, we can enjoy summer adventures with you, my littlest baby. Time with you is a gift. I pray we steward it well.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0, 1 month and his birth story.

Letters to Candor: 1 month

My dear Candor Sage,

You're one month old today on the first day of May! What a sweet, life-changing blur this month has been, all because you're here. I am so thankful for your life, my baby boy. You are a most precious gift, and I cannot believe the Lord has been so kind to entrust us with you for the time being. You've brought immeasurable joy to our family the moment we all met you. Your daddy, siblings, and I love everything about you. We adore your littleness, your froggy legs that stretch out stiffly often, your full lips, your chubby cheeks, your wide eyes, your narrow feet, your long fingers and toes, your irresistibly soft skin, and your wispy newborn hair. Your siblings gravitate towards you all the time. They can't help but crowd around to exclaim how cute and little you are, to pat you on the head or back, to kiss your head, and to impatiently take turns holding you. Serene plays the can-can song for you whenever you're sitting in your bouncer in the living room. Valor washes his hands meticulously before giving you gentle hugs. Reverie jumps up and down and squeals over how adorable you are. Verity climbs into my lap to "sit (with) baby," pat your head, and hug you with her head every opportunity she gets. We love you so much!

You and I have been inseparable since you've been born. I treasure the moments I get to bond with you, nursing, snuggling you close afterward against my chest, listening to your content breathing, and kissing your cheeks or head. During your first day and a half of life at the hospital, you preferred sleeping only in my arms. The nurses remarked that you don't like to be bothered, letting us know with your lungs through loud, fierce cries if getting changed, getting a sponge bath, or getting poked and prodded was disagreeable to you. However, you've slept almost exclusively in your lounger since you've gotten home. You also enjoy being worn in my wrap. You're most content when swaddled and cuddled closely in my arms. You involuntarily smiled for the first time at 5 days after nursing, but grinned for the first time at eight days when I talked to you. Your moon eyes and curled lips melt my heart.

You had no jaundice at birth, but by day 6, you were noticeably yellow. You began phototherapy at home, and for its convenience we are grateful. However, after the first bout of jaundice cleared, your bilirubin levels rose again. You currently shave some breastmilk jaundice which we pray will resolve itself soon now that you're a month old. You're feeding and pooping well, which are major accomplishments for your age. I love to stroke your back as you nurse, to which you respond by grunting "mmmmmmhh!" contentedly. Your daddy gave you your first bath at nine days since your umbilical cord fell off at five days and you peed all over him as he was changing you. You've peed all over us quite a bit this month, and we're remembering again how hilarious it is to have a baby boy.

It's bittersweet that you're already bigger than you were at birth. You wore size 0 diapers most of this past month, transitioning to size 1 diapers at 3 weeks when we ran out of newborn diapers. You wear newborn clothing, though they are now filled in more fully than they were when you were born. You've been much more alert since 3 weeks, staring wide-eyed at your surroundings in between feedings during the day. Thankfully, you sleep in 2-3 hour stretches at might, waking only to eat. You take the bottle well, and I'm hoping you continue to do so if we can be consistent about offering you a bottle once or every other day. 

I keep telling your daddy how I love little babies. I love you so, my littlest baby. This season with you is so sweet, and I'm eagerly anticipating the days and seasons to come, Lord willing. Praying He'd continue to grow you, and eventually into a man of God who knows, fears, and loves Him.

Love you so,

Mommy

P.S. Candor at 0 months and his birth story.

Candor Sage at 0 months

Here we go for the 5th time! Hoping to capture Candor every month for the first year of his life. This photo was taken when he was 2 days old on his first day home from the hospital. Hoping I'll be diligent to document his monthly milestones as he grows, just as I did with Serene, Valor, Reverie, and Verity.