Letters to Verity: 2 months

My dear Verity Heart,

I am rejoicing at your 2 month milestone.  This has been a roller coaster of a month for you spent most of it in the hospital. On Saturday, January 12th, 2019 I noticed that you seemed unlike yourself. You had a persistent cough, weren't interested in nursing, and napped longer stretches than normal. By evening, my heart was pretty anxious. You had turned quite yellow and ate hardly anything all day. Then you slept through the night, which frightened us early in the morning. What followed in the next hour was one of the scariest moments of our lives. We went to check on you and you were too still. So ashen, so limp, so cold. We tried to wake you up to eat. I couldn't get you to latch so we attempted to give you a bottle. We called members of the church family, praying someone was awake to come over to watch your siblings so we could take you to the hospital. Thankfully, Rachel came in the nick of time for us to rush you to the ER. They admitted you right away since you were only 5 weeks old (39 weeks adjusted). Right when they showed us our room, they had me sit and hold you while they asked why we brought you in. I began describing what had been happening when you turned deep blue-purple. Then everything became a blur. You had stopped breathing. Suddenly there were 3 doctors and 7 nurses in the room. Someone yelled for the crash cart. My heart froze and I gripped your daddy's hand. I pleaded with God to be merciful. Thankfully they intubated you in time. Your body temperature was 92F, which they said was near death. They told us you had an infection, but they weren't sure what. They spent the rest of the morning stabilizing your vitals and running tests before transferring you to another hospital's PICU 30 minutes away. You spent the next 17 days battling the RSV virus. It was so hard to see your little body hooked up to so many tubes. You spent 11 days on the ventilator, and the following 6 days weaning off the nasal cannula so that you could breathe on your own again. We were helpless, which caused us to cry out to the Lord in utter dependence. Remembering His faithfulness and promises proved to be a great comfort as we prayed for your strength and healing. God has been so kind to sustain your life and heal you through the wisdom of the doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists. Your daddy and I went to spend time with you at the hospital every day. When we couldn't get a baby sitter, either your daddy or I went to visit you. Each day felt like forever, though I tried to remind myself that each day that passed was one day closer to your homecoming. My mama's heart missed you so. When we finally got to take you home, I embraced every moment we have with you. Your life is a gift and time with you is precious, especially because you've spent half your life in the hospital thus far.

Since you went through a rough spell this month, you lost some weight before gaining it back. You just hit 7 lbs and measure 19.25" long. You wear newborn diapers and newborn clothing. You are literally our littlest baby so far. The past week and a half you've been home again has been so sweet. You're mostly eating, sleeping, and pooping, regaining normalcy and strength. Your alertness is a relief. Your 2 month milestones are a little delayed since you were born a little early and because you spent time in the hospital, but you'll get there Lord willing. We're so thankful we get to be your parents, though God has particularly proven himself the better, ultimate parent this month. For this we are grateful.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 and 1 month. Plus, her birth story.