Letters to Verity: 12 months

My dear Verity Heart,

You're one! This has been the fastest, sweetest year. We are so grateful the Lord has sustained and grown you. What a gift to watch you grow. Your current favorites are: your mama ("mama"), bananas ("nana"), food in general, being held and cuddled, your daddy and siblings, being pushed in the toy shopping cart by your siblings, chewing on books, smiling at people from the sling while leaning into me, rummaging through Lego duplos, uttering repetitions of "ah duh," and kicking your legs in glee, and throwing your head back in anger or distress.

Sometimes it's hard to believe you're already a year old. You're still army crawling, not preferring to stand when supported, and not preferring to sit. When I put you in sitting position, you lean forward into splits right away until you land onto the comfort of your tummy so you can scoot about. You're wearing 3-6 month and some 6-12 month clothing, size 1 shoes, and size 2 diapers. You weigh 14 lbs and measure 26.5" long. You look more like a 6-9 month old, and others comment how little you are. You're the littlest of our kids at this age.

We're thankful you'll stay a baby longer. We love your wide grin, how you cling onto us tightly with curled toes, how you still take sink baths in the Puj tub, how you scarf down all your food (veggies, fruit, eggs, chicken), how you kick happily when you see your family, how you hug and rub your face into your stuffie Fantine before going to sleep, how you put your pacifier into your mouth, how you scoot about like a little slug, how you don't mind all the silly nicknames your siblings give you (i.e. Bippity, Vivity, Jippity), how you sit in the Bumbo to eat Os oat cereal while watching your siblings do school, how you rest on your left side with your right leg atop your left, how you rummage through baskets of items, how you stare wide-eyed at the world around you from the safety of our arms, and how you just want to be close to us.

Oh my dear baby, we love you so much. You're a testament to God's overflowing, undeserved kindness to us. He has been merciful to you and us. Praying your daddy and I would be arrows that point you to our loving Lord and Savior, the one who made you, sustains you, and loves you. May He grant us many more years of knowing you as you grow.

Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 11 months

My dear Verity Heart,

There's no looking (back). You're one month away from one year. I'm astounded by how quickly time has flown. You're giggly, clingy, and vocal this month. You utter repetitions of "wah!" and "ah!" which often prove a lovely distraction in normally quiet settings (like during Sunday services). You're social, grinning at others as long as you're snug and safe in my sling. You explore everywhere, scooting and army crawling. You're still not preferring to sit, but will lean forward in sitting position if propped up to do so. Once you're sitting, you lean forward in no time to land on your tummy, your favorite position in order to scoot and crawl.

You're nursing about 4 times a day, and eating mostly 2 but sometimes 3 meals a day. You love everything you've tried so far, especially bananas, avocado, chicken, Os, carrots, squash, etc. You dislike water. You are self-feeding more often this month. You're doing so well grabbing items with your thumb and forefinger. In terms of size, you're wearing 3-6 and 6-12 month clothing, size 1 shoes, and size 2 diapers.

You love your family so. You respond to any of the nicknames your siblings and daddy have given you: Vetty, Vetaly, Skippity, Bippity, Mermony, Natalie, and baby Heart. Your big brother is convinced you don't sin. You pretty much light up our lives. We can't wait to celebrate the grace in your life soon.

Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 10 months

My dear Verity Heart,

Happy 10 months! I can't keep up with how quickly you're growing. You're hyper-aware and cognizant. You're able to sit on your own now, though you don't initiate doing so. If we place you sitting down, you'll tolerate it for a few seconds before inching sideways onto your tummy, your preferred mode of exploration. You scoot and army crawl with finesse, making your way across the room in seconds.

You enjoy solids, usually banana, avocado, squash, sweet potato, or carrots. This month, you began feeding yourself Os as you sat in the high chair for the first time. Other foods you've tried include watermelon, melon, tomato, tofu, and baby teethers. You only allow your daddy or mama to feed you. You love to nurse still, about 4-5 times a day.

You love your siblings and kick your legs in happiness and grin with glee whenever they pay attention to you. They adore you and smother you with kisses all the day long. You love sharing a room with your big sister Reverie, peeking through the crib at her and babbling happily. So thankful for your growing sisterhood.

You're partial toward books, scooting to grab them out of anything else within reach, though you grab at anything within sight. You love when you're thrown into the air, breaking into smiles and splits. Your mama makes you happiest when you're in my arms, but I also make you the most discontent when I leave the room. When you're discontent, you express it by throwing your head back, shaking your head, screeching, or screaming.

You wear some 3 month, mostly 3-6 months, and some 9 month clothing. You wear size 1 shoes and size 2 diapers. Your daddy and I have been quite sentimental this month, feeling particularly grateful God preserved your life and that we've gotten to watch you grow. You are such a gift. We love you so very much.

Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 9 months

My dear Verity Heart,

You are growing! You just hit 14 lbs and measure 25" at nine months. You wear size 3-6 month clothing, size 2 diapers, and size 1 shoes. This past month started out a bit rocky for you. You had congestion and a fever for about 4 days before breaking out into a rash, all symptoms of roseola. You were such a trooper though, enduring the week with lots of cuddles amid the full activitiy of summer's end.

You're active and busy. In addition to rolling everywhere, you began scooting the last days of August, making your way across the living room floor to grab objects to stuff into your mouth. Your favorite teethers are books, to our chagrin. You also enjoy pulling cords and licking furniture legs. You're clicking your tongue, babbling, giggling, and just indulging in silliness. You can sit for a couple of seconds before falling over. Perhaps you'll sit up on your own fully this coming month.

You're nursing less since you eat two meals a day of veggies or fruit. New foods you've tried this month include banana, avocado, and a bit of chicken. You began eating mashed foods a week ago instead of merely purees. You sit in the Bumbo a bit straighter now and you also hold your own bottle of water. Such grace in these milestones!

You grin, kick, and giggle whenever you catch sight of anyone in your family, but your mama is your favorite person. You love resting your head on my chest and hugging my arms as I hold you. It is the sweetest to envelope you and be enveloped back. You developed some separation anxiety this month. I am your favorite soother, although you're also partial to the pacifier. You stick the pacifier in your own mouth. You also love your kitten stuffie, Fantine. You love having her by your face in order to fall asleep. You nap in the pack n play or on a blanket on the living room floor. We put you back in your shared room with Reverie about a week ago at night, which prompted you to sleep through the night again, which you haven't done since you were about 3 months. We are so thankful for how God is growing you. We rejoice at each evidence of grace in your life. We love you, we love you, we love you so, littlest.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 8 months

My dear Verity Heart,

Happy 8 months, littlest! People have commented how smiley and social you are this month. It seems you are in full baby mode rather than newborn haze, which you seemed to be in for about 6 months of your life. Now you grab at anything within reach, roll everywhere, and scream to make yourself heard. What a joy to behold your growing up little by little.

You stopped using the lounger mid-July, transitioned into the crib in your shared room with your big sister Reverie the last week of July, but have found your way back to the pack 'n play in our room a couple of weeks later because you kept getting your limbs stuck in between the bars of your crib. Perhaps that's just an excuse but we don't mind having you in our room still. You've been teething, biting your fingers, blankets, and teethers with ferocity.

You started solids this past month while sitting in the Bumbo. You weren't a fan at first, but have warmed up to the veggies we offered: zucchini, butternut squash, carrots, sweet potato, along with samples of tofu, banana, avocado, pear, apple, kiwi, spinach, peas, and cucumber. The samples were due to quick forays into jarred baby food during our family trip up north two weeks ago.

You smile, giggle, babble, grab, jump up and down in excitement, and snuggle into our chest with heart-melting sweetness. Developmentally, you're about 5-6 months old. You wear 3-6 month clothing, size 0-1 shoes, and size 2 diapers. You enjoy hugging your stuffie to sleep, preferring to sleep on your side or tummy, usually with the pacifier. So far, you've enjoyed the pacifier the longest out of your siblings. You're happiest in your parents' presence, though you adore the sight of your siblings as well. We love fawning over you. Your siblings fight to hold you and be near you. You are so dearly loved, littlest. Every day I hold you just a wee bit tighter as I ponder how I love you so.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 7 months

My dear Verity Heart,

This past month has been all about your feet. You're fascinated by them, these new favorite toys of yours. You grab them, stare at them, stick them in your mouth, and repeat. The cutest sight to behold is your feet sticking straight into the air from your lounger, waving around until you grab onto them. Consequently, you're more mobile this month. You roll from tummy to back, and from back to tummy less than a week ago quite comfortably. You roll from side to side as you suck your fingers, coo, and babble. You articulate iterations of "ahh" and "mmm" interjected by high pitched squeals and lip smacking, for you've discovered the growing capabilities of your voice.

You are a social baby, content in the company of your siblings who adore you so and glady do tummy time with you on the blanket in the living room. You grin at them and babble at them as they fawn over you. You're happiest in the presence of your parents, kicking madly and beaming from ear to ear when you catch sight of your daddy or me. We love to nuzzle your neck and tummy with kisses, which makes you laugh uncontrollably. You smile at your reflection in the mirror. You feel safest in my arms or sling, observing the world with wide eyes like a little koala. You involuntarily grasp at anything within reach, whether it is our hands, our hair, a toy, your blanket.

You recently went through a growth spurt, waking more often at night to eat. When I'm gone, you'll take the bottle only from a select number of people, including your daddy. You nurse on average every 2.5-3 hours during the day. You wear 0-3 month and 3-6 month clothing, size 0 shoes, and size 1 diapers. You'll be transitioning diaper sizes this coming month though. So grateful you're growing and thriving, littlest baby. We are thankful every day you are here with us. You are an undeserved gift. We hold you close and pray we steward you well as you grow in grace.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 6 months

My dear Verity Heart,

We're so thankful God has blessed you with half a year of life! I can't believe you're 6 months already, although you seem younger. You just hit 11 lbs and measure 23" long. You wear size 1 diapers, 0-3 month clothing, and size 0 shoes. We just removed the newborn insert in your car seat, though the headrest is still intact. Though your littleness entails you're closer to a new baby, you're losing your full head of newborn hair by the minute and are nearly bald. I'm not surprised since the same happened to your older sisters, but I'm pretty bummed because you had the most hair at birth so I was hoping you'd keep it a while.

You suck your fingers in earnest, which sometimes soothes you to sleep, though you still take the pacifier eagerly. You are accustomed to sleeping at home in your little lounger, and have come to prefer a muslin blanket to pull by your face to sleep. Otherwise you'll nap in my sling, but not for long. You typically nurse about every three hours and take three naps a day. You're sensitive to noise now, and are often unintentionally awakened by one of us during the day. White noise helps a bit to soften your siblings' and parents' chatter, but you are not a happy baby to be startled awake. You sleep on average six hours at night, waking once to feed in the early morning before going back to sleep again.

Being out and about is exciting and stimulating, and you gaze at the world in curiosity from the safety of the sling. You're happiest in the company of others, grinning with your whole face when you lock eyes with one of us. You're drooling quite a bit now. You giggle and coo, arching your body in contentment. Your hands grasp at any object within reach, though not intentionally. You're so close to rolling from your back to your tummy. You've begun to try to pull yourself to sit upright when we hold you; the view from my lap is your favorite. You're growing and developing at your own pace, for which we watch and wait with adoration. We can't handle your cuddly sweetness. You love kisses on your cheeks, raspberries on your belly, and peekaboo with your little feet. We spend quality time with you when your siblings are in bed for the night, and it's pretty much one of our favorite times of day. I just want to snuggle with you all day and rejoice in the sweetness you are.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 5 months

My dear Verity Heart,

How is each month better than the last? You are a jolly, sweet babe who loves being social. You're partial to being held or worn, love hanging out on your little rug in the living room in the company of your siblings who fawn over you, and wail when you're left alone. When you're given attention, you grin, wiggle your body in contentment, and utter repetitions and variations of "ah" in earnest conversation with your beholder, thereby melting our hearts and charming us all. You're discovering your voice and have begun to squeal. You also laughed for the first time a few days ago - a quiet, breathy giggle.

You're waking up once again at night to feed again after an average 6 hours of sleep. I've missed the 8-9 hour stretches from last month, but your doctor had recommended we wake you up once a night to eat since you're pretty little. Glad we didn't have to do that and you've been waking on your own. When you do sleep, you do so with your hands up to your face and with the pacifier. Thankfully, you've discovered your fingers this month and have entertained yourself by sucking your fingers. Tummy time is a breeze for you now and your head control is quite good. You're more comfortable with rolling from your tummy to your back, especially onto your left but also sporadically onto your right. When you eat, you arch your back and develop such gassiness that you scream cry until you're burped over the shoulder. You love being held this way.

I think you're about 10 lbs. You wear size 1 diapers, 0-3 month clothing, and newborn shoes. You're still using the full newborn insert in your car seat. I'm in disbelief you're now 5 months. Thankful you're our littlest baby because you'll be a baby longer.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, 3, and 4 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 4 months

My dear Verity Heart,

This past month was one full of sweet milestones. My favorite? You began truly smiling. Such generous, full-faced, heart-melting smiles whenever you saw one of us. Coming in second? You've been sleeping through the night since March 15th, almost a week after you turned 3 months. You're sleeping on average 8-9 hours a night. Other grace-endowed milestones? Tummy time is enjoyable. You spend time on your tummy contentedly. You rolled over on your left from your tummy to your back a week ago. You accomplished the feat a few times that day, and it has been sporadic since then. You utter "ah" softly, suck on your fist, and track well. You love being worn in a wrap or sling, beholding the world around you when we're out and about. You enjoy your pacifier and being kissed on your feet. You nurse on average every 3 hours during the day and have no problem taking a bottle, thankfully.

I'm so thankful for your milestones. Each time you reach one, the urge to jump and exclaim with joy rises in my heart. Praise God you're healthy and growing, though you're still pretty little. You weigh 9 lbs and measure 20.8" long. You just transitioned to size 1 diapers, 0-3 month clothing, and size 0 shoes. You are such a sweetheart. I am cherishing these sweet, cuddly days. You are loved, littlest babe. Your daddy, siblings, and I adore you so. You are the center of our affections these days, to which you're partial. I'm excited for this lovely spring weather that seems to have come to stay for a while. We are anticipating spring and summer adventures with you in tow. The world is a beautiful place that whispers the grandeur of God. I pray you know it and its author one day.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, 2, and 3 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 3 months

My dear Verity Heart,

You are now no longer a newborn! How did that season whiz by? Even though you're not considered a newborn anymore, you seem like one. You weigh 8 lbs and wear newborn diapers and clothing. Your head control and tolerance for tummy time are not as developed as a typical 3 month old's, but you're growing at your own pace and we love you so! I shall cherish your littleness as long as I can. I love these sweet sleepy, cuddly early days. It's a joy to observe your newborn quirks that make you, you, such as your preference for turning your head to the left and flexing your feet as you eat. You nurse every 3-4 hours during the day, and sleep 4 and more often 5 hours at night. You slept a couple of 6 hour stretches recently, which were such a gift!

This past month was centered around not getting you sick again, as our whole family was in the trenches of illness. I didn't kiss you for two weeks in an effort not to contaminate you. It was so hard not to kiss those sweet squishy cheeks of yours. We kept you quarantined in our room, entering only to change and feed you. It was a haze of doing our best to protect you from another virus while surrendering to the Lord your ultimate protection. Now in the beginning of March, we are all quite recovered and made anew, thankfully. We're cuddling you more now that we're feeling better, which you love. You smiled for the first time this month, and your sweet smiles are growing more frequent by the day. I am an enraptured recipient of those and all your delicate features. We slowly took you out on outings for an hour or two this past week, which shall culminate in your first Sunday service tomorrow. I am so thankful to be back worshiping the Lord with our dear church family Lord willing. Praying you'd adjust well and grow to love our rhythm with our church family. Grateful you're growing stronger every day and that I get to watch you grow.

Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 , 1, and 2 months. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 2 months

My dear Verity Heart,

I am rejoicing at your 2 month milestone.  This has been a roller coaster of a month for you spent most of it in the hospital. On Saturday, January 12th, 2019 I noticed that you seemed unlike yourself. You had a persistent cough, weren't interested in nursing, and napped longer stretches than normal. By evening, my heart was pretty anxious. You had turned quite yellow and ate hardly anything all day. Then you slept through the night, which frightened us early in the morning. What followed in the next hour was one of the scariest moments of our lives. We went to check on you and you were too still. So ashen, so limp, so cold. We tried to wake you up to eat. I couldn't get you to latch so we attempted to give you a bottle. We called members of the church family, praying someone was awake to come over to watch your siblings so we could take you to the hospital. Thankfully, Rachel came in the nick of time for us to rush you to the ER. They admitted you right away since you were only 5 weeks old (39 weeks adjusted). Right when they showed us our room, they had me sit and hold you while they asked why we brought you in. I began describing what had been happening when you turned deep blue-purple. Then everything became a blur. You had stopped breathing. Suddenly there were 3 doctors and 7 nurses in the room. Someone yelled for the crash cart. My heart froze and I gripped your daddy's hand. I pleaded with God to be merciful. Thankfully they intubated you in time. Your body temperature was 92F, which they said was near death. They told us you had an infection, but they weren't sure what. They spent the rest of the morning stabilizing your vitals and running tests before transferring you to another hospital's PICU 30 minutes away. You spent the next 17 days battling the RSV virus. It was so hard to see your little body hooked up to so many tubes. You spent 11 days on the ventilator, and the following 6 days weaning off the nasal cannula so that you could breathe on your own again. We were helpless, which caused us to cry out to the Lord in utter dependence. Remembering His faithfulness and promises proved to be a great comfort as we prayed for your strength and healing. God has been so kind to sustain your life and heal you through the wisdom of the doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists. Your daddy and I went to spend time with you at the hospital every day. When we couldn't get a baby sitter, either your daddy or I went to visit you. Each day felt like forever, though I tried to remind myself that each day that passed was one day closer to your homecoming. My mama's heart missed you so. When we finally got to take you home, I embraced every moment we have with you. Your life is a gift and time with you is precious, especially because you've spent half your life in the hospital thus far.

Since you went through a rough spell this month, you lost some weight before gaining it back. You just hit 7 lbs and measure 19.25" long. You wear newborn diapers and newborn clothing. You are literally our littlest baby so far. The past week and a half you've been home again has been so sweet. You're mostly eating, sleeping, and pooping, regaining normalcy and strength. Your alertness is a relief. Your 2 month milestones are a little delayed since you were born a little early and because you spent time in the hospital, but you'll get there Lord willing. We're so thankful we get to be your parents, though God has particularly proven himself the better, ultimate parent this month. For this we are grateful.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 and 1 month. Plus, her birth story.

Letters to Verity: 1 month

My dear Verity Heart,

This has been the fastest whirlwind of a month because you spent your first 11 days of life in the NICU and your first weeks home fell amid Christmas and New Year gatherings. However, you've taken center stage of our affections since you've been born. I'm treasuring up these moments with you in my heart, because I know they'll go by so quickly. May these monthly letters for the first year of your life serve as a record of not only your milestones, but also as tangible evidence of how loved you are.

Oh, my littlest baby, I love you so. The day of your birth may have caught me by surprise, but your life is cherished beyond articulation. You are the sweetest gift. Because you had to spend time in the NICU, I do not take your time home with us for granted. I'm snuggling you as much as possible, which you love and express with content newborn grunts. You also grunt happily when I rub your back as you nurse with your legs sticking straight out, which is a welcome opportunity for me to tickle the soles of your teeny feet. You nurse on average every three hours, though during your third week of life, you went through a growth spurt and nursed a bit more often at night. Your lips randomly curl into an endearing smile while eating, which is the cutest. You happily take a bottle once a day, which is so helpful in our family's daily rhythm.

If you don't like something, you scream to let us know. You have a high-pitched cry and a nice set of lungs. In addition to crying when you're hungry, you also don't like having a dirty diaper or boogers. You're also not sure about baths at times. Thankfully, you're quickly comforted when we hold you, and sometimes with a pacifier.

When it comes to sleep, you prefer to sleep on your back with your face to the left, usually with your mouth slightly open and your hands up by your face. However, you also enjoy being swaddled, the first of our babies to do so. You'll sleep in the Moses basket, lounger, or cradle swaddled. During your growth spurt, you needed extra cuddles at night, which I haven't minded because I already anticipate the impending grief that comes with knowing you're our last baby. Therefore, I'm soaking up all the cuddles, even if it comes at the price of sleep.

Time goes too quickly, for within a month, you've gained a pound. You currently weigh 6 lbs and measure 18 3/4 inches long. You wore premie diapers and clothing for the first 3 weeks of life, graduating to newborn diapers and clothing at 4 weeks. You were swimming in newborn clothing during the first few weeks and it boggles my mind that you're filling into them now. Still, I love your littleness - your teeny hands and feet, your froggy legs, your wide-mouthed yawns, your silky soft head full of hair, and your newborn sleepiness.

Your parents and siblings adore you so. You are the most asked for person in our family these days. Your big sisters and brother run to hug you and smother you with kisses every chance they get. I shall cherish watching you grow, my littlest babe. I can't wait to see the person our gracious God has created you to be.  May you grow knowing His character and His ways, that you are incomparably loved in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Love you so,
Mama

P.S. Verity at 0 months and her birth story.

Verity Heart at 0 months

Thus begins the project to capture Verity every month for the first year of her life! This photo was taken when she was 13 days old. Hoping I'll be diligent and consistent to record her monthly milestones as she grows, just as I did with Serene, Valor, and Reverie.